A Note From Jules

I'm sure at least once in your lifetime, you have been asked the question, “If you found out you only had a day to live, what would you do.” My truthful answer may be a little too spicy to share, but let's just say it would be safe to conclude there would be a lot of champagne, an idyllic beach and a party. 

 When my Dr. told me I had cancer,  and my immediate thought was that I was going to die, all plans of a beach party went out the window. 

 All I could think about was my daughter. How was I going to deliver the encyclopedia of life knowledge I had started curating for her the day I found out I was pregnant with her?  How will she ever know how much I loved her when there are no words that can be written to accurately convey that much feeling?  How do I express to my husband how sorry I was to let him down by leaving so soon and how much it has meant to me to have him in my life?

 I certainly was not thinking about the beach.  It became evident at that moment that what I needed and wanted to do was tell everyone I hold near and dear that I love them.

 It's not that I held back from telling people I loved them or appreciated them before this moment in my life is that at this moment, I wanted to do it so much more. People started coming into my life that seemed to mirror this feeling, and often, they were people I had never met before.  

 At one point in time during my treatment, I remember feeling so cheated out of the experience of being a mom because while my adorable and rapidly growing toddler was experiencing some of the most important moments of her life, I was a mess. Either I was too tired to play or go for a walk, or I wasn't even around. When I finally started coming out of the haze of chemotherapy and could participate again, there was one day I was out with my daughter and someone I had never met,  who had observed us playing together, said to me, “you’re a good Mom.” I burst into tears, and in a perfect and knowing fashion, she reiterated, "You are, and she is so lucky to have you as her Mom" I will never forget that moment.  The generosity of that woman changed me in one simple moment. 

 Tell people you love them. Tell them they are doing a good job even if you don't know them. Tell them that they made a difference in your day. Tell them you appreciate them, and don't wait until you only have one day to tell them all.  

To my husband and my family, thank you for your words and your love. Thank you to Andrea, Christina, Teal and Amanda for your generosity, for celebrating women and for lifting up your community. Finally, to all of you gorgeous people that nominated someone you love, please share with them what you wrote in your nomination. Do it in person over a coffee or wine; I know it would mean the world to them. Bring tissues. 

It is not possible to repeat past experiences, as time changes all things.

Jules